Get lucky.

ETHIOPIAN HIPSTER: (source)

Let's see you Williamsburg pussies go here.

TRAILBLAZING: This guy deserves huge props for the goal he has set for himself. We shall be rooting for him.

OOPSIE DAISY OF THE DAY: We find it hard to think of a mistake that has led to more financial hardships than this right here. If we were the people of Greece or Portugal or Spain or, uh, a good portion of the world, we'd be outraged and on the street - if we weren't too busy trying to stay alive.

THE PERILS OF ADONIS-NESS: Well this is just, uh, foreign. As in, we couldn't even relate to this. Sigh. Also, it is literally foreign.

LIKE A BOSS:

(source) 

THERE IS SO MUCH STUPID IN THE WORLD: http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/04/23/tennessee-lawmaker-says-lighten-up-after-posting-pressure-cooker-bomb-joke/

INTERPLANETARY PURILE HUMOR OF THE DAY: We laughed...hard. Yeah, we're terrible.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: We certainly hope he gets what's coming to him. Unbelievable.

WE ARE EATING OURSELVES TO DEATH: 

We really, really hate Carl's Jr's television ads. They're just...distasteful. But this monstrosity? Sigh. The sad truth is that once upon a time we would have joyfully hoovered one of these up and been really happy with that.

DON'T DO IT! For reals. DON'T EVEN ASK THAT QUESTION. We made the mistake of asking our favorite teacher in junior high and it stings us to this day.

BENJAMIN'S FACELIFT:

There's a new, improved, fancy-pants $100 bill coming in October. Details on all of the security features ("shifting colors") can be found here.

THESE GUYS ARE SHAMELESS: Seriously, the lengths these people will go to in order to subvert the democratic process.

FIRE THEM ALL: The single greatest threat facing our economy and the people tasked with fixing it can't be bothered. Pitchforks and burning torches. We need them.

ARG! Everything you know about pirates is wrong. Blimey.

ON DAYS LIKE THIS, IN TIMES LIKE THESE....