Superspeaders and the schoolyard pile-on.

METEORA BOREALIS: (source)

SUPERSPREADERS: You DO NOT want to be one and you certainly don't want to be around one. That's about the worst "that guy" tag of all time.

TO PAY OR NOT TO PAY? Apparently Shakespeare was a tax dodger. Who knew?

UNDER NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES...when a bunch of child abusers throw a hissy fit, most civilized people would shower them with disdain. Hey Ireland...WTH?

SPEAKING OF TEMPER TANTRUMS: Lil' Kim is in the middle of a full-on-balls-out-fists-on-the-floor screamfest. What could possibly go wrong?

APPLAUSE: This is relevant to our interests.

(source)

GONE TOO SOON: A moment of silence, please, for Itchy and Scratchy and all their pals.

EXCESS BAGGAGE? One airline has gone where no others have dared: they have installed scales and are charging more for hefty fliers. BONUS: It's a company doing business in a nation with some of the heaviest per capita inhabitants anywhere.

WELL DUH.

CAFFEINE NATION: We are so caffeinated that the stuff is becoming an issue - it's causing water pollution. Luckily, some smarty pants white coats have figured out how to put it to work with some hungry hungry bacteria to do good things.

PILE-ON!

(source)

OFFERED WITHOUT COMMENT: Firsthand Autonomous Pleasure as a weight loss tool. *

APOLOGIES: Apparently they are for losers. This is a tremendous setback for thenanigans.

LADY FRUIT BATS...are the happiest fruit bats of them all. Well played gentlemen.

AN EYE FOR AN EYE: Version 2.0. 

SPRING SWINGING:

(source)

*You might want to check the date of publication before committing to a new "exercise" regiment.