HITCHING A RIDE WITH MAMA: (source)
STFU OF THE DAY: Anytime you hear any politician or economist or pundit or asshat blathering on about austerity measures, tell them to toss off.
SWORD STORIES: There are two kinds of people in this world. Those people who don't own swords, and guys like this. *
UGLY-ASS FISH OF THE DAY: Introducing the Sarcastic Fringehead.
Oh nature, you SO scary. Wait tip you see what this guy does with his mouth.
POW! Right in the kisser. Apparently our hands evolved for a purpose. No, not that one. That's just a bonus.
WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE AROUND THE LITTLE ONES: And by little ones, I mean really, really little ones.
YOUR ON-LINE PRIVACY: These are the companies that are selling you out (from sort of kind of to totally) on the interwebs. Yes, you know these companies.
OFFERED WITHOUT COMMENT: Medical marijuana is not just something that drives the Cheetos economy.
BOLD FACED RACISM...is alive and well and thriving in Delaware. Wow. I wonder where else this is happening? I'd like to be positive and hope that this is a one-off kind of situation but I just can't.
WANKER: Just so we're clear, I'm not referring to the scribe. He gets a standing O.
WE RECOMMEND MANATEE OR CADET BLUE:
MAN'S REAL BEST FRIEND? At least the puss put in the effort.
THEN THERE'S THIS: Excuse me for a moment, is it dusty in here or what? I need a tissue.
NOT ONE FECK SHALL BE GIVEN: That was some party.
* Once upon a time there lived the greatest morning show ever. Long live The Pete and Joe show. Sword Stories has been brazenly stolen from them in tribute.