We found the perfect white elephant gift.

THIS IS HELPFUL: Headed to a company holiday party? Read this first! NAUGHTY OR NICE?

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I am strangely intrigued by this. Part of me wants to believe it would be snuggly. Most of me realizes it would be an itchy, sweaty meat cocoon. Would I wear it to a bad holiday sweater party? IN A HEARTBEAT.

OH MY: I cannot even begin to imagine the fallout from this.

PAYBACK OF THE DAY: Couldn't happen to a more deserving lot. Details and specifics here in case you're up for some shenanigans of your own. Then there's this.

CONVERSATION STARTER OF THE DAY: This.

WTF OF THE DAY: This. Gah.

MOMENTOUS:

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WARNING: I am about to go off on a collection of asshats, idiots, cowards and despicable people. This is all about the aftermath of the shooting in Connecticut. You might want to skip down to the kitteh if you want to maintain a happy, positive attitude today.

THIS RIGHT HERE...is a load of horse-puckey. It is reprehensible and it is irresponsible.

LET'S CALL THIS WHAT IT IS: Treason.

THERE ARE STUPID PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD: Here's one. And here's another. Then there's this guy.

BUT THIS GUY? He is, in my opinion, one of the lowliest scumbags on the planet. He's from my hometown. I know of what I speak.

ABJECT COWARDS.

WHAT WHAT WHAAAAT?

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YUM YUM YUM: I heartily endorse this advancement in kids toys. Now get me some cupcakes.

STRANDED: One of the most important distribution channels in the country is about to be shut down. This is something.

SIGH.

HERO OF THE DAY: I salute you intrepid adventurer. I could never pull this off.

WHITE ELEPHANT GIFT OF THE SEASON:

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THENANIGANS UPDATE OF THE DAY: Now they will experience the awesome power of a fully functional WhiteHouse.Gov petition.

PSSSST: Don't tell Morpheus or Neo but...

HEY ALANIS: Now this is ironic.

LET IT SNOW:

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