Shadow monsters on the lawn and platinum in the stratosphere.

JUST SO WE'RE CLEAR: just%2C+no.(source)

DRONE WARS: Coming to a community near you. For some of us, nearer than we might like.

ASTEROIDS: More than a video game. More than something to dodge. Now they might be the newest place to mine for resources. But, is it legal?

KONY 2012: This right here is the real deal.   I love this message from the website:

If you help fund this project we will not send you a t-shirt. We will not send you a bracelet. We will not ask you to vandalize your city with the face of a mass murderer.

What we can promise you is that we will tell you the real story of Kony and the child soldiers. Plus we guarantee that 100 percent of the money pledged will go to Ugandans on the ground.

COVER OF THE DAY: 

I didn't think it was possible for me to like Ingrid Michaelson anymore than I already do. We've been fortunate to have her visit the station several times over the past few years for live performances. She's wicked funny and quietly fierce. Her newest project, Army Of 3, finds her taking on other people's music and she's doing it all on her own. Everything you hear in this version of Calvin Harris and Rhianna's "We Found Love" is from Ingrid's voice.

NIGHTMARE FUEL: I just wet my pants. I am not proud of this.

WE ARE EATING OURSELVES TO DEATH: The Heart Attack Grill sends another customer to the hospital.

I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE:

boo(source)

HEADLINE WRITER'S BEST DAY EVER: This is not funny. (snort) There is nothing funny about this. (guffaw) What are you, a pimple-faced teenage boy? (chortle) Seriously, not funny. (bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha)

YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK: This is shameful. Who wants to bet that nothing comes of this?

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD OF THE DAY: This woman is something.

"OH NOTHING...JUST HANGING OUT"

HAVE ASCOT, WILL PROTEST! Also a riding crop and a banjo. Quite possibly the most dapper demonstration ever.

BETWEEN TWO FERNS: The full-length TV specials. I. Can't. Wait!

OH HELLS NO: I can say with complete absence of uncertainty that this is NOT how I wish to toss my mortal coil.

AUNTIE EM! AUNTIE EM!

incoming%21(source)

This is reportedly the oldest known photograph of a tornado. It was snapped in 1884 outside of Howard South Dakota.