Creature features.

CAT GOT ITS TONGUE : (source)

THE MOST EXPENSIVE PHOTO OP EVER: Also the most embarrassing. There is so much I want to say about this whole thing but for once, I'm going to clam up.

FREEDOM OF RELIGION: But not freedom from it.

MEANWHILE...this. 5th paragraph. You can't really make this up. Once upon a time you could because, you know, that kind of stuff happened all the time. But now? We really should be way past this.

LOVELY LADY:

(source)

Secretary Bird is stylin' some sweet blinker accessories.

I HATE PEOPLE: This is just one reason why.

LESS GIVING, MORE LIVING: This cannot possibly be a good thing. Sigh.

EVEL KNIEVEL IS ROLLING IN HIS GRAVE: Good luck with this pal.

PROUD MAMA:

(source)

IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED: Try, try again. I'm surprised this didn't happen in my town, where car vs. buildings happen all the time.

AMERICA THE PLUTOCRACY: By the looks of things, we're already there. 

CONSEQUENCES: Our gun culture.

WIDE LOAD:

(source)